Fifteen Years as a Creator. (I’ll Never Make It.)
Five years ago, I wrote about how — after ten years as a self-employed independent creator — I hoped to “make it.” I now realize, I never will.
Five years ago, I sat at my keyboard to have a serious conversation with myself. It had been ten years since I had woken up to a day with nothing scheduled, and wondered how I was going to fill it with something that both made life worth living, and also paid the bills.
In this conversation, I asked myself, How did you end up here? Have you made a big mistake? I had spent a good chunk of my retirement savings, left Silicon Valley in the midst of a boom, and now found myself barely getting by in South America.
About a thousand words in, I stopped and cracked into tears, not only because I was scared out of my mind, but because still — despite not seeing a clear path to making this work — I couldn’t see myself giving up. I concluded:
Take it from me, a ten-year veteran self-employed creator: If you are looking for security or reassurance, I do not recommend this line of work. However, if you are burning with curiosity — if your heart and intuition lead you to do things that don’t make…